I am not entirely sure why I didn’t go to see this one when it was in theatres, but I think mostly it was for two reasons: 1) the previous Fantastic Beasts movie wasn’t that fantastic, and 2) the replacement of Johnny Depp with Mads Mikkelson as the pre-Voldemort fascist allegory, Gellert Grindelwald.
It’s not that I don’t approve of that decision, given the problematic nature of Depp as a person. (Though, one might argue, he’s not that much more problematic than J. K. Rowling.) It’s just that, though their time on screen was limited, there was a very real chemistry between Depp’s Grindelwald and Jude Law’s Dumbledore, and for all Mikkelson’s accomplishment as an actor of great presence and menace, I just don’t see him as a romantic lead.
Of course, the story here isn’t really about the one-time romance between these two enemies, back when they were united in their ideals and wanted to change the world together. (Their dynamic is all very Professor X and Magneto, actually, except that their once tender feelings are made explicit, and any Charles/Eric love story belongs squarely in the realms of fanfic.) Instead, we mostly deal with Grindelwald’s growing cult of Dark Side wizardry as they attempt to wrest control of the Wizarding World and ultimately go to war with Muggledom, mostly for the usual “pureblood” reasons, because that is the only motive for any evil megalomaniacal wizard to go to war, apparently.
Of course, Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) and his CGI magical creatures, along with sundry sidekicks and the titular Dumbledore, find themselves in constant peril as they strive to save the day, and while there are a few moments of tension, it all feels a little bit by-the-numbers—and some of those numbers simply don’t add up, as we are treated to such plot nonsense as a crazed mob first cheering the prospect of a war on Muggles, and then setting of wand-based fireworks in joy at the election of a non-warmongering witch with amazing taste in gowns—and that is just one example.
I’m also not sure that too many of Dumbledore’s secrets were actually revealed here – except for when he kept on outing himself, I guess – so the title seems a bit misleading, too. But it was all… fine… I didn’t dislike it… there were some decent character redemption arcs, one excellent line that especially resonated with me (NEWT: “He doesn’t want to lead you, he just wants you to follow him.”), and I do enjoy the Wizarding World in general, so I’m happy that I watched it.
No disrespect to Mads Mikkelson, though, but I do think it would have been better with Johnny Depp in it. Is it just me?
B-
Based on characters created by J. K. Rowling
Written by: J. K. Rowling, Steve Kloves
Directed by: David Yates
Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Jude Law, Mads Mikkelson, Ezra Miller, Dan Fogler, Alison Sudol, William Nadylam. Callum Turner, Jessica Williams, Richard Coyle
WHERE I WATCHED IT: Netflix.
You know how some writers just have their thing? Anne Bishop’s thing is Super Special Women being oppressed by Evil Men, and beloved of two competing saviours, one stalwart and kind, the other arrogant and often mean.
The god Apollo, exiled to Earth and mortality by his angry father — unreasonably angry, by the way; it’s not like Apollo’s particular crime was worse than any committed by any of the Pantheon, including Zeus himself — has spent the past three books coming to terms with his new circumstances. Instead of his usual irresistible form, he is now caged within the body of lumpy and pimply teen Lester Papadopolous; instead of near-omnipotence, he is now only sporadically graced with a mere shadow of his former powers; and instead of inspiring awe and adoration he now has to constantly put up with mouthy kids rolling their eyes and him and calling him names. 
I have a somewhat complicated relationship with Charlaine Harris. For a long time — a decade, really — I was devoted to her Sookie Stackhouse stories, eschewing the television version entirely because it diverged far too much from the prosaic-meets-fantastical first person narration she gave her main character (Sookie was always painstakingly describing her household chores before heading off to meet with vampires and almost die again and again). I also enjoyed her necromancing, and step-sibling romancing, Harper Connolly books, and even the muddle that was Midnight Crossroads, with its array of supernatural creatures with SECRETS, people. SO MANY SECRETS.
It is among my greatest shames that I do not like Studio Ghibli films. From Princess Mononoke to Ponyo to Porco Rosso, these Japanese animated features are considered masterpieces of the anime art, but for all that I have been steadily exploring that fertile playground over the past few years (hi, Tristan, my partner in weekly anime nights!), I still have not been able to work up the least enthusiasm for these .
After reading Eva Ibbotson’s wholly delightful historical romance The Countess Below Stairs, I thought it was time that I explored the children’s tales for which she is so famous. Justly, as it turns out — because Which Witch? is just a whole lot of buoyant silly wonderment.
So far, these Feist (occasionally in conjunction with Janny Wurts) Riftwar Cycle books — of which this is the tenth — have been pretty inoffensive High Fantasy, employing several popular tropes and an often fairly simplistic writing style, but adventuresome and intriguing enough to make me happy enough to keep reading.
Having read this book, I have to now wonder if I really genuinely disliked Naomi Novik’s 
Right up until it’s fiercely unsatisfying conclusion — the ninth novel in the series, 2018’s Scourged — I really loved Kevin Hearne’s Iron Druid series, so when he released this, the first novel in a whole new series, and in the midst of awaiting the final adventures of Atticus, Granuaile and co., of course I snapped it up right away. 
I hate when this happens.